Tuesday, November 15, 2011
When your child suffers from a broken heart ... Shit, it hurts!!!
Yesterday I received a text:
“I broke up with C today. I think I’ll still come home for Thanksgiving, but it’ll just be me.”
I send him a text, asking if he is okay:
“I’ll be fine. I just found out something that ruined any trust. And then she lied and made excuses.
I refuse to take bullshit like that.”
He sounds pretty strong, right? But I know my son! He followed up with another text after I told him everything made work out, just don’t make hasty decisions.
“”Yeah, not going to happen. This is one of those moments where my analytical side wins.”
Hmm, my brainy son is working through this with an analytical mind? I remind him that it just happened and his emotional side will kick in and might win from his analytical side.
I also tell him that nothing is black and white, so give this more thought.
He has been with this girl for 6 months ... we met her in August.
In his next text he is trying to convince me (or himself?) . “I really think rational decision making is my greatest asset.”
Okay ... funny thing to say, and we both are busy, so the texting stops after the ‘I love you’.
This morning things are a bit different, I find out right away after I text him a hug.
I get one of those texts from him that ‘dings’ 5 times. A lengthy one! What happened to ‘analytical and rational decision making?’
The emotions took over and sent him tumbling in that dark abyss of pain. It doesn’t matter how large his brain is ... his heart is breaking.
So I call him, I know he is crying ... I do a lot of talking ... about life, trust, second chances. Black and white and grey-tones of people, their actions and lies.
He asks me, “I don’t trust many people as it is, if I forgive her now, how do I know she won’t do it again?”
“Nobody knows, if she will do it again ... SHE doesn’t even know ... it is one of the chances we take in life, son.”
Maybe you understand ... maybe you have been there ... I had no clue it would hurt like this.
I just know that I can’t fix it ... no band-aid in the world can fix it!