Tuesday, October 25, 2011

When life throws you a bone, do you run away or catch it?

I have written before about a sister that has turned her back on us? The last time we saw her and her kids was many many years ago.

She allows my parents a thin straw ... they receive short E-mails now and then, nothing personal. They are not allowed to talk about her E-mails to us. There are many rules and if they brake them, she will be gone. My parents treasure this tiny thread of connection and are very cautious.

She left our family many years ago, declaring they were horrible parents. Her kids are not in touch with ANY OF US!

There is a little bit of contact between this sister and my youngest sister (again with very strict rules) and also with my mother’s youngest sister( our aunt), who somehow feels protective towards ‘the lost child’.

Two of us girls live in the USA and each time we go home to Holland, we have try to reunite.

I gave up many years ago, it used to hurt, but I am passed it now. But I hurt for my elderly parents and I hurt for the sister that lives here with me in the states. She is a soldier, that keeps trying to FIX things, only to get hurt again and again.

So now, this November my USA sister is going home to Holland once more. Her 26-year-old daughter will be going with her. Our parents are not doing well and there are serious concerns about my mother’s health.

Since the ‘estranged sister’ also has a 26-year-old daughter, my traveling sister is trying once more to connect. She thought it would be awesome for the girls to get together.
One of the sister at home, in Holland, knows all the girls are on the bookface and tries to contact them there. AND GUESS WHAT SHE FOUND OUT?

The oldest girl is married and has a one year-old baby!

Needless to say, there is shock, major shock! Do my parents KNOW they are great-grandparents?

Did any of them know?

I was upset last night ... how did it get this way? How can a family get so screwed up? We are normal people. So we have a bi-polar (we think) sibling?

Big T listens to my story, holds me tight and says, "Baby, nothing changed. She didn’t want to be a part of the family, so she didn’t share the fact that she is now a grandmother. Leave it be, don’t give her a reason to totally disappear from your parent’s life."

I saw the pics ... her daughter is gorgeous, the baby is precious, and I guess pics is all we will get.

1 comment:

  1. I think there is mental illness in the family. It's the only way you can explain things. It's important not to let it get to you and effect you. When you're not to be blamed you should not take the burden. I'm sure you did what could be done to solve things.