He insulted my country!

One of our presidential candidates seems to think it is okay to use false information to make a point against socialized health-care.
I don’t really care if you are for or against it, but I do care when someone uses false information to make a point! And it really makes me angry when this false information is about ...
MY COUNTRY!

Rick Santorum actually accuses my country of killing the elderly!!!

He also mentions that 10% of all elderly are being euthanized against their will and that old people wear bracelets that say, “Please don’t euthanize me!”

I truly wished that mr Santorum would check out the facts instead of just using a sleazy story once produced by Fox, to spike their numbers!
No, we don’t include Fox in our tv-channels, we prefer truthful news!

This presidential candidate doesn’t seem to think he might check his facts. Nor does he seem to understand international policies. Much of Europe has socialized medicine and he didn’t make any brownie-points for the USA with such a statement.

I hope he doesn’t start any false rumors about the Middle East, we might be in another war!

Rachel Madden mentioned in her talk-show, “The Dutch are not amused!”

No, and this man is not a good presidential candidate, he could get the USA in big trouble!

My parents are elderly and have received wonderful care from doctors and nurses during recent hospital stays. Also, a chairlift has been installed in their home a few months ago (part of socialized healthcare) so they can stay in their own home longer and be independent and happy!
A local doctor stops in unannounced now and then!

Now here is the REAL SCOOP!

Only terminally ill may request to be aided into a peaceful parting of this world. There are signatures required from: the doctor, the patient, and two family members.

Some people agree with this, others don’t ... it depends on your religious beliefs!

I know Dr, Kavorkian died in jail at the age of 83 due to his believes. Many people may agree or disagree if we have the right to aid a terminally ill patient.

But that is not what this is about! It is not about the right to die!

Rick Santorum uses Holland to fight against socialized healthcare, without learning the facts!
He is wrong, we don’t kill our elderly ... we care for them as well as we can and we promote independent living and dignity .... as long as we can. Only a small percentage ASKS for help to leave this life!

Mom's clothesline!

You have to be a "certain age" to appreciate this blog....

(But you YOUNGER ones can read about "The GOOD ole days"!!)

I still remember many of the rules, even though I have not used a clothesline for many years.


THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES:

(If you don't even know what clotheslines are, better skip this.)

1. You had to hang the socks by the toes... NOT the top.

2. You hung pants by the BOTTOM/cuffs... NOT the waistbands.

3. You had to WASH the clothesline(s) before hanging any clothes - walk the entire length of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

4. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

5. You NEVER hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?

6. Wash day on a Monday! NEVER hang clothes on the weekend, or on Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

7. Hang the sheets and towels on the OUTSIDE lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

8. It didn't matter if it was sub-zero weather... clothes would ‘freeze-dry’. Don't bend them when you take these clothes down!

I broke my father’s arm once ... well, his shirt sleeve!

9. ALWAYS gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky"!

9 B . We had a long wooden pole (clothes pole) that was used to push the clotheslines up so that longer items (sheets/pants/etc.) didn't brush the ground and get dirty.

10. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

11. Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

12. IRONED???!! Well, that's a whole OTHER subject!

(I didn’t write this poem, but it inspired me to write the blog.)




MOM’S CLOTHES-LINE

A clothesline was a news forecast,
To neighbors passing by,

There were no secrets you could keep,
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link,
For neighbors always knew

If company had stopped on by,
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the "fancy sheets",
And towels upon the line;

You'd see the "company table cloths",
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby's birth,
From folks who lived inside,

As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could,
So readily be known

By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;

Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, "On vacation now",
When lines hung limp and bare.

It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged,
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon,
If wash was dingy and gray,

As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way.

But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.

Now what goes on inside a home,
Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life,
It was a friendly sign

When neighbors knew each other best...
By what hung out on that line.

Life is not fair

When I was a child
I learned life wasn't fair
it made me mad
many times

Yet now
as an adult
I embrace the challenge

Because it is not fair for
YOU, and YOU, and YOU and ME
I am not the chosen one
but a student
of life
like everyone else

dealing with it
can be a challenge

so now,
coping with it,
even when it isn't fair

proves,
that I am no longer
a child

Has your heart ever been in jail?

Or maybe it’s in jail right now? It kind of sucks, but you can’t make people love you back.
And YOU can’t love someone, just because they love you.

Or maybe you have a hopeless crush, that occupies your heart, so you can’t move on with your love-life. You have nothing, yet your heart is occupied, filled with love for somebody that might not even know how you feel.

The truth is, no matter how hard you try, you can’t make somebody love you.

A friend of mine is dealing with this issue right now. Her and her husband have been ‘working’ on their relationship. Actually, he is working on it. She still loves him with all her heart, even though he had a year-long affair and he now is trying to figure out, if he can still loves his wife ‘THAT WAY’ !

Let’s face it, if somebody has to TRY to love you ... has to WORK ON IT ... and tries to figure out if he/she still loves you THAT WAY, would you still be interested?

This is not the kind of LOVE I would want ... either you want to be with me, or you don’t.

For many people commitment is hard,

1. Do I love him/her enough?
2. Is this really it?
3. Fear of monogamy also enters the picture

Just remember, it is your heart and it should never be in jail

We have a choice ... get pissed ... or learn to laugh at yourself

After the last kid was picked up by daddy, my race with the clock got started. It was 5:30 PM and my man would be home around 6:30 PM. First of all, nobody tells me that our dinner should be ready at that time BUT ME! And really I don’t have to cook, he would be happy to do it. Or we could have left-overs.

But no ... I have something in mind I want to fix and I have one hour.

It was a long day and it was a hard day and this dinner will be good!

I race upstairs to the kitchen and grab two frying pans. Then into the garage, grabbing a bag of frozen Tilapia fish from the freezer. I run upstairs to the next floor, where in a spare bedroom I have all my herbs and pepper-plants. I get all the herbs I need and a perfect bell-pepper.

I have to pee, but I don’t have time. I start the meal. And I throw a load of jeans from the washer in the dryer. Back to the kitchen. Cutting, chopping, grabbing things from the fridge.

The cold water makes me have to pee more, but I don’t have time ... hurry ... keeping an eye on the clock.

Feeding the cats, letting the dog out. Fish is thawed, drying it off with paper towels.
Fry it fast for 2 minutes, turn it over ... place herbs and lemon slices on the fish, cover!
Last minute additions in the other pan ... fresh tomato and spinach. I am winning from the clock!
Pouring wine ... I sneeze ... WTF ... just peed in my pants, just a little, but still! Holding it too long!

I run into the laundry room and throw my pants in the washer (don’t wear panties), put on PJ-pants. I look stupid, but who cares.

This is where I discover I forgot to turn on the dryer. My son told me that multi-tasking doesn’t work! Is he right?

Glass of wine ... I sit down ... I am wiped out.

The garage door opens.

He walks in and hugs and kisses me. It feels good and he smells like fresh air. He opens the frying pans on the stove and says, “I thought we stopped buying that fish, because we didn’t like it.”

The word WE is a good word, but in this case it means HE doesn’t like it.
I always laugh it off, but right now I am so pissed I want to scream. Did I know and forget he doesn't like THAT kind of fish?
I just know that we don’t eat enough fish ... period!

Yes, we do fight ... every passionate couple fights ...
Experience tells me that I am not in any shape to win this one and I don’t have the energy for make-up sex, so what’s the use?
It’s the little things in a relationship that can make you flare up at each other. When you are exhausted it gets a whole bunch worse.

The outcome?

We eat all of it ... he likes the flavors. He thinks it is funny I peed in my pants.
He has a beer with his meal, and I have wine.

And I realize, that this would have made a very funny sitcom.

He is going back to Afghanistan after Christmas

We have not seen our nephew for a while, but he will be home for Christmas, yet in January he will have to go for his second round of Afghanistan. I am proud of him, for doing what he does. And I know how hard it has been on my sister.

You might want to check out 'All I want for Christmas ... HMS Ocean' on Utube, a very awesome treat!

I watched the news this morning and found out how much out taxes will go up next year. Will it help our country, or just hurt us ... because we are just climbing out of that hole of unemployment.

And Sarah Palin is running for president?

Since I can’t fix the world, I guess I will just focus on our own little world. And this Christmas will be good. My sisters kids are all home and so is our son. For the first time in many years we will be able to get them all together. And I am looking forward to that!

We will not exchange gifts, but we will spent good family time together. Lots of good food and our Dutch game, called ‘SJOELEN’. We used to have a blast with that!

I am sure the cousins will pick on each other as always and there will be lots of laughs.

This is how Christmas should be ... MERRY!! And I wish YOU a very Merry Christmas!

When are we too old to fall in Love?

I see people of all ages on this site, looking for that special someone, not just for a roll in the hay.
It makes me happy to see that, it proves to me that the ability to fall in love might be ... forever?
After my divorce it did cross my mind, that I might spend the rest of my life ALONE. I wasn’t that old yet, but it seemed to me that my love-life was over! As it turned out, it had not even started yet. My real love came later, and it came unexpected, out of nowhere. I was not even looking for love, yet it found me!



When I ran across this picture I was moved by the passion, the look on their faces ... I have seen that look on younger faces, a look just like it!

You should NEVER give up hope to find true love, because just when you are not watching, there it is! We can embrace love at any age, count each day, even when they might be numbered, yet the intensity of the love that is felt, will even be deeper. Because it will be truly appreciated.

Please tell me ... you have heard of Demis Roussos, or Aphrodite’s Child?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV7X5tPt6wc

A few nights ago I woke up and clearly heard inside my (crazy) head ‘Goodbye my love, good bye’ .... it was haunting me, because just that day I had found out that a friend of mine had died.
She passed away after her second bout with cancer ... she was an awesome person that was my son’s teacher during his ‘gifted program’ from age 7 till 12. She taught me how to deal with my son. Not many people realize, but gifted children can have a very hard time socializing and are often lonely and difficult.

Somehow the song seemed to have something to do with her, yet I didn’t understand the connection. Wasn’t that a lovesong? When I listened to it and looked up the lyrics I realized this song could have a totally different meaning.

When I was a teenager I remember having a major crush on this handsome man. He was born in Egypt, till his family moved back to Greece. Demis was in a band ‘Aphrodite’s Child and his voice wasn’t discovered till the lead-singer took a break and asked him to sing a few songs.
Demi became an immediate hit in Europe after that. Young girls like myself carried a major crush on his dark, wild look.
His music carries the influence of the Middle East and Greece  combined and his voice is haunting.

So now I am in the USA and NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT HIM?

I went on the internet and found a lot of his music ... the old videos have poor quality, but several seem to have been redone and still make chills come down my spine . So much passion!!

The man is grey now, his voice slightly trembles, but he still sings.
Some of my favorites .....

‘Good-bye my love, good-bye’
‘Forever and ever’
‘My friend the wind’
‘Follow me’

And with Aphrodite’s Child ...’ Rain and tears’

~~~~~~~~~

And here are the lyrics to the song ‘Follow me’

Follow me to a land across the shining sea

Waiting beyond the world that we have known

Beyond a world we dreamed could be

And the joy we have tasted

Follow me along the road where only love can see

Rising above the fully of the night

Into the light beyond the tears

And all the years we have wasted

Follow me to a distant land as mountain high

Where all the music that we always kept inside will fill the sky

Singing in the silence where the heart's real

While the world goes on turning, turning

Turning, follow me

Follow me to a land across the shining sea

Rising above the fully of the night

Into the light beyond the tears

And all the years we have wasted

Follow me to a distant land as mountain high

Where all the music that we always kept inside will fill the sky

Singing in the silence where the heart's real

While the world goes on turning, turning

Turning, follow me

Take my hand

And we'll find the land

Beyond the shining sea

Follow me

Thank God, the BUSH is back!

So they took away my furry snacks and my giant litter box. 

They expect me to aim all my shit into this 1' X 11/2' stinky shit-hole. 

My sunbathing days are over!!!   And even if I am lucky enough to find some weak rays that come through these ‘special windows’, I have to knock off all this crap to find a place to curl up.

But hey ... I will quit bitching for now ... 

Thank God .... the yearly bush is back!

I would ring my Christmas bells for you ... but they cut them off (it had something to do with that stinky shit-hole I kept missing). But how am I supposed to know that those rainy stalls they shower in ....  and those flower-pots are not for ME to use?

I know, I know ... I said I would stop bitching ... for now 

Red Shoes

Some days I share details from my work with you, today is one of those days.
Tomorrow we will go back to perving!


In case you are new to my blog, this is a follow-up on a previous blog.


One of the children in my preschool/daycare is four years old and functions at the level of a two-year-old. Except, the two-year-old's are starting to pass him by. His mother had ignored my ‘hints’ that we might have a problem. As a qualified Montessori teacher I do know that the little ones develop at their own speed, but in this case the child is having many problems.


1. Low self-esteem, I keep hearing ‘I can’t’
2. He doesn’t really play
3. He still doesn't recognize any symbols (alphabet and numbers), even though we work on them daily. My two-year-olds are remembering some of them.
4. Concepts of ‘same and different’ and ‘bigger and smaller’ ... he can’t see it, not even in concrete form.


A few weeks ago I had a serious talk with Mom and she agreed that something needs to be done.


She tearfully hugged me before she left and thanked me. The next day she asked me NOT to talk about this problem with her husband, since he always overreacts. So I have not mentioned it to him.


Today I brought up the subject once more with Mom. Nothing seemed to be happening and he is not doing well.


She was very defensive this time, brought up some ‘clever’ things that the boy had said and done. Funny thing was, these were things I had just read to him in a book. 


I noticed he has no imaginary world, so I am ‘playing with him’ doing make-believe. The mother didn’t believe that he had no imaginary world, because the other day he saw a red light in the sky and mentioned it was Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer. I explained to her that we just read that book and I TOLD THE KIDS to watch for that red light.


To make an already long story short, she explained to me that testing him would put a label on him. She also told me, she shared this with ONE person, a lady she works with and this person told her, her son was probably fine, not to worry about it. 


That was all she needed to back out? She is more worried about ‘labels’ than helping her child?
Also, they still don’t have time to READ to him yet he loves books. I have hundreds of books and I read a few every day.
I told her she could borrow my books any time.


I am frustrated with this..... 
The rest of my young crew is brilliant. We sing songs in English, German, French and Dutch. We do lots of special projects for the Holidays.


My three-year-olds are recognizing some words! My two-year-old's have rap-sessions while going potty. Potty-training two kids at the time is fun! I have no idea how the rapping got started, and they only do this while going on their little potties. 


So yes, my place is still a happy place, and the ‘troubled child’ is not troubled, yet I am! I wish I could help him better.


Okay, now you are still wondering ... but what about the ‘RED SHOES’ this blog is supposed to be about?


The little guy I am worried about has worn the same pair of shoes last winter ... all summer and is still wearing them every day.  Three of his cousins wore these shoes before him. The sole is worn off the heel and the toe and the shoes are getting tight.(they are not rich, but he does own a DSI)


When the kids talk about Santa and the gifts they are hoping to receive this boy tells them (and me)that he is getting ‘red shoes’! He started talking about this way before Christmas.


And I WANT HIM TO HAVE THOSE RED SHOES!


I give my little ones a small gift, they find it under my chimney. There is always a note from Santa, that tells them to OPEN the gifts at home. This prevents WANTING the gift someone else received!


But giving a child shoes? A bit different ... I admit!


Today I discussed this with his mother ... she said ... SURE! 
She was not aware of her son’s wish.


So Santa will give this little boy RED SHOES for Christmas!

The ultimate bullying? The prize goes to our greedy insurance companies!

I looked up the WORD ‘insurance’ in my dictionary ...

Insurance ...
1. PROTECTION against risk, loss, or ruin, by a contract in which an insurer or underwriter GUARANTEES to pay a sum of money to the insured, or the beneficiary in the event of death, accident, fire, etc, in return for the payment of premiums: also, the business of PROVIDING this PROTECTION.
2. A contract GUARANTEEING such protection.


On October 30 my friend was in a major accident ... she was in a coma for 10 days.
Left side of her rib-cage is crushed ... 9 fractured ribs ..  Both lungs were punctured
Broken pelvis requiring a pin
Ruptured spleen and liver

Needles to say, she has been through Hell lately! But she is a very positive girl and a fighter, thank goodness!

I have been E-mailing with her, her father gave her a laptop to use in the hospital.
Enclosed are the two last ones.





(Nov 24)
“Things are coming along for me. I had a little set back
yesterday. Started running fever and having chills and
tremors. I have a slight infection in my pin site at my
pelvis. Started me on IV antibiotics. Also increased pain,
that required me to go back to the IV pain medicine. I am
feeling better this morning. I am keeping my fingers crossed
that the antibiotic is working to allow me a good day. Kids
and D will be over later today to make my day complete. 
I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life.”








(Nov 29) “Had set back over weekend with chest pain And shortness ofbreath. Spent weekend having multiple tests. They did rule
out heart attack, blood clot, and gallbladder attack. They
are running an overnight monitoring of my breathing to see
if my levels drop requiring oxygen. I will probably be
coming home on Wednesday. Insurance will only allow so much
time in hospital. They are saying I am independent enough
to go home. I am a fighter and will survive no matter where
I am at. I keep thinking of you guys.”



I scares the daylights out of me that THEY have decided she is well enough to go home.
This is called PROTECTION? Or maybe this is the GUARANTEE my dictionary told me about?
I hope there is a way the doctors can make this insurance group responsible for their promises!

Two set-backs in ONE WEEK!

Bullying pisses me off ... I am so worried about her!

It makes me sad when he is so negative .... yet I love him so much

It makes me sad when he is so negative .... yet I love him so much

No, I am not talking about my husband, he is a very positive man, not talking about our son either. He is a perfect mix of happy, pissy and sarcasm for his age.


Maybe it bothers me today, because in the USA we are all talking about how thankful we are right now. In the Netherlands they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. But he could have so much to be thankful for, if he would just LOOK AROUND! Maybe older people get this way? I don’t remember him being this way when I was a kid.


I am talking about my father.


So, yes, now I am saying negative things about my father. I hope you don’t mind that I share these feelings today. If you have read my blog before, you know how much I love my parents. I hope to go see them real soon ... I am planning a trip after Christmas.


The reason I feel this way right now?


I talked the my parents on the phone for an hour this morning. We do this every Sunday. One week they call my sister (she lives near me) the next week it is my turn. 


But she is in Holland right now, with her 26-year-old daughter. They are visiting for 10 days.
Most of these days my sister is with them, my niece is doing a bit more sight-seeing.
The E-mails my sister is sending me tell me how much time she is spending with them. They are playing games, watching tv, listening to music. She cooked for them several times. One day my other sister took her to visit an aunt, where they stayed for ONE HOUR. She lives an hour-and-a-half away! But my visiting sister has explained, “This visit is for Mama and Papa!” So they only stayed for ONE HOUR!


Sometimes elderly people seem to get very selfish, or maybe he is just confused. He was whining and complaining, telling me how she was gone all the time. And then he would say things like, “I understand, we are old and boring.”


Why is it that sometimes elderly people get so manipulative? Or is that a stupid question?


My sister is a jewel ... maybe even too nice!! When I wrote about her neighbor taking her flowers and vegetables in one of my blogs, someone even commented that my sister should, ‘stand up for herself; that she was a doormat.’


So while my father is going on and on with his complaints, my mother is commenting on the scent of fresh air, when my niece comes back from a walk. She is grateful to be alive, after having had several surgeries during the last year.


My mother comments about the good things she is enjoying during my sister’s visit.


It is almost like they were living different lives, instead of sharing the same home, the same kids, the same visits.


So this is a rant, I guess, and I thank you for the ear. I will be going to visit them soon, and I must be positive and bring them smiles!


Maybe you have elderly family and you understand I don’t write this because I don’t love him, I just wished he could be happy and grateful for having had such a long happy life. And for kids that love them very much. Kids that travel across the ocean, to be with them!

I did okay with his girlfriend and I LOVED my messy kitchen yesterday

He brought ‘the girl’!  He almost broke up with her, because she betrayed him. 

Did you ever go there? Telling him all the neutral things that make sense. Inside, as his mother you are thinking of ways TO KILL THAT LITTLE BITCH!

So, you thought I was a nice person? Maybe! But don’t hurt my kid!

He made up with her after he told me he couldn’t! Yet emotions took over!

And here they are ... together ... at our house! Obviously in love!

I wondered how I would feel, and act towards her. I also wondered how Big T would be.

And I am proud to say ... WE ARE ALL OK!

They arrived Wednesday night ... 

So yesterday, Big T and I started early as usual. And I knew he wanted to get that turkey in the oven by 10 am, so I was hurrying to do my desserts! And then I started on my son’s laundry (yes, he did it again!) Even though he told me, he would take care of it himself. Ah well, so I spoil him.

I don’t get to do it that often.

When the young couple joins us, our kid is telling us about this no-bake cheesecake he would like to add to the desserts. Not that we needed any more, it’s no wonder my jeans are so snug right now!

Picture this kitchen!

Big T is a messy cook and he has shit all over the place! Now my kid starts pulling out bowls, measuring cups, mixer ... asking for this and that ingredient.

HE WANTS PRETZELS! For the bottom part of this cheesecake. Girlfriend grins, tells me she was shocked also, but it tastes good!

Pretzels need to be smashed! He puts them in a ziplock and stomps around on it with bare feet.

Of course the baggie pops!! Pretzel dust and pieces are entertaining the dog!

We start over and I suggest the potato masher.

Girlfriend seems very submissive while ‘helping’ him in the kitchen. She tells me our son always cooks at her house.

So now he wants heavy cream and since we don’t have it, he will use 2% milk. OK!

Except he thinks he is going to BEAT IT STIFF!

My kid doesn’t seem to realize that milk doesn’t get STIFF!

So now a trip is required to the store — it HAS TO get stiff.

Poor kid seems to have a problem with things not getting stiff ... he flunked his lemon meringue pie last week too ... it didn’t get stiff either!

I ask him, “You are going LIKE THAT!?”

He is dressed in gym-shorts and flip-flaps. She is wearing a coat and boots.

They have the giggles when they get back! We now open the booze! Time for a drink!

He beats the cream, we are drinking now ... everybody slap-happy ... and the kitchen?

Holy Shit ... you have never seen anything like it!!!

Would you believe I was happy?  This is what HOME should feel like!

After we stuffed ourselves we hung out on the couch and watched a movie, ‘Wrecked’ very intense!  Dessert came during movie-time and that cheese cake was actually very good!

Our Thanksgiving was awesome .... how was yours?  I hope it was filled with love, joy and food!!!

When you DREAD the Holidays ...

For some of us the arrival of a Holiday weighs heavy on the heart. Holidays can be a horrible strain when you are all alone, or if this is the first Thanksgiving/Christmas without your loved one. 

Maybe you got divorced this year or maybe  your relationship ended.

 Or  maybe this is the first Holiday without one of your parents.

A sudden sadness, or a renewal of grief can be brought on by a day where loved ones gather and share. This sudden sadness can be overwhelming.

PLEASE, don’t stay alone ... ALLOW your friends to help you! You would not want anyone you love or care for suffer like this, so don’t walk away from your friends. There is always an extra chair at the table, extra hugs are there for you ... 

I am not quoting this from a book, I have been there. (Many years ago, but I remember oh so well)

After spending Thanksgiving with friends, I decided I could do Christmas alone ... nobody would know ... I lied to those who were kind enough to ask me;  I  told them I was spending time with ‘so-and-so’.

My divorce was final in May, and I should be fine by the Holidays, right?

WRONG!!

I can tell you what you should NOT do!

1. Don’t go for a walk at night and look in those windows, where families are gathered

2. Don’t go shopping on Christmas Eve, while they are playing ‘Oh Holy Night’

3. Don’t hit the bottle, depression will hit you over the head, and you will drown in self-pity

You don’t HAVE to be alone, please know there is always somebody that would be there for you, if you allow them. So please allow your friends to help you!

I wish I could invite all the lonely people for Thanksgiving, but I might need a house as big as a country for that!

But I can send you some love through cyber-space ... so pucker up, and open your arms wide!

Hugs to all of you!

My popcorn fiasco ...

When I was a teenager I used to babysit for families from different countries, to practice my languages. I took English, French and German. Kids always tell you the truth when you make a mistake and I felt safe ‘practicing’ my language skills.

I learned a lot more though. Different cultures, different foods. It was fun!

One food group that is not popular in Holland is corn ... it is for pigs ... and I mean real pigs!
Not people-pigs!

During one of my visits I was invited to stay for popcorn. I was amazed! They showed me those tiny kernels afterwards and told me, that the heat and some oil makes it pop. This was before ‘microwave popcorn’, many moons ago ...

They were kind enough to give me a small bag with kernels, so I could share this little miracle with my family.

My mother did not like us kids in the kitchen ... I had to learn to cook on my own. So I didn’t tell her what I was up to. She was busy washing the windows on the outside, something she did every week. Yep, scrubby Dutch!

So I took a frying pan, put the oil in it, just like they had told me ... when it got hot I put the kernels in. My siblings were amazed at my bravery in the kitchen. They had followed me to the kitchen, with their friends. Our house was a happy drop-in at all times!

When the kernels started popping they flew out of the frying pan and soon popcorn was coming down like snowflakes on a winter day. The kids were all screaming and diving for popcorn, making so much noise my mother came in to check up on us.

She was not happy with me at first, but since it all got cleaned up FAST, she had a good laugh at my account.

You still can’t buy popcorn in Holland and when relatives come over for a visit they stand and look at the huge choice of popcorn. Wondering how we can ever make a choice ...

Do you have a favorite?

How can anger overtake motherly love ... with a 13 month old baby?

The ‘sarah-alert’ came out on Tuesday. Baby disappeared from his bedroom.
Mommy put him in bed at 10:30 on Monday night and when she went in his room to get him up Tuesday 11 AM  he was gone.




 The Sarah-alarm went out at 1:30 PM. Newsflashes on tv and radio and also on road-signs all around StLouis. There were reports of a man walking alongside the highway with what appeared to be a blue blanket? Sobbing family members during the evening news: young parents everywhere making sure windows were tightly locked, before they put THEIR baby to bed.


Terry and I watched later that night how a tiny body was retrieved from a wooded area, discovered by people that were talking a walk. My eyes filled with tears when I saw how tenderly the police officer carried a tiny body to the car. Was THIS the missing baby?


When I could talk again I said, “She didn’t walk into that baby’s room till 11 AM? A 13 month slept that late?”


The next morning I heard that same reaction from some of the young couples I work for.


Wednesday morning I received a call from my sister. “The 20-year-old mother confessed to beating her baby when he wouldn’t go back to sleep during the night. She couldn’t take it anymore.”


A horrible, tragic event! She lost control and JUST DID THAT!  She beat him till he stopped crying. Beat him till he STOPPED ... everything ... he would never bother her again. 


Last night more images, including a phone-number parents could call if they needed help.
 In case they felt they were losing control. Suddenly the media realized MORE young parents might need help with uncontrollable anger. 


But will that number be there when they need it? Will it prevent another parent from committing this unthinkable crime?


HOW COULD YOU ...  how could you possibly beat your baby like that?

No candy for Christmas ... the Sugar Plum Fairy was fired ... for cursing!

The Sugar Plum Fairy was fired for cursing, but a growing number of fans are hoping she'll get her job back.


Laura Coppinger, 29, of St. Louis, is an actress who has portrayed the Sugar Plum Fairy for the past six years on historic Main Street in St. Charles during the annual Christmas Traditions festival.


I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Well, she must have cursed on the job.”


But if you thought that, you would be wrong. Nope, Laura was fired for cursing while she was taking a drug test that all city employees must take. Again, I know what you’re thinking:


 “Somebody with the city agreed to pay someone to be a Sugar Plum Fairy, but Laura has to take the drug test?”


If you’re thinking that, you have a very good point.


Laura was taking her drug test when she “accidentally flushed the toilet.” Apparently, flushing the toilet during a drug test is a no-no.


Note to self: Never use a bathroom after someone takes a drug test.


Laura was told, that because she flushed the toilet, she would have to stay until she could provide another sample. Staying would make her late for a scheduled job interview. That’s when Laura uttered a curse-word under her breath.  I’m not sure what she said when she found out she was going to be late for her job interview, but I know what I would have said.


Of course the REAL Sugar Plum Fairy would be pristine and virginal and she would NEVER say bad words ... but Laura is only a PRETEND Sugar Fairy ...  She is a real life woman and she might EVEN be on AFF ...  And who knows what else she might be doing when she is not in her Fairy Chambers.


The Post-Dispatch quoted the St. Charles human resources department as saying that Laura violated a Christmas Traditions character code of conduct by saying “naughty words.”


Second note to self: Never invite a member of the St. Charles human resources department to my house or Big T’s work.


Beyond the statement from the human resources department, the folks with the city aren’t talking about the firing, but a lot of folks in St. Charles are talking. Apparently some of the folks in St. Charles think Laura’s firing is “&^%$.”


The good news is that a guy named Mike Swart is trying to turn a negative into a positive. He has started a Facebook page to try to save Laura’s job. As part of his Facebook page, he is asking folks to contribute to a food drive to stock a local food pantry. He is asking folks to donate Sugar Plum Fairy fare, such as cookies and candies, as well as standard food pantry items.


This is what Laura told the Post-Dispatch when she heard about the food drive:


“I think it’s lovely, absolutely wonderful that something good is coming out of this after all.”


Spoken like a true Sugar Plum Fairy.

When your child suffers from a broken heart ... Shit, it hurts!!!

Yesterday I received a text:

“I broke up with C today. I think I’ll still come home for Thanksgiving, but it’ll just be me.”

I send him a text, asking if he is okay:

“I’ll be fine. I just found out something that ruined any trust. And then she lied and made excuses.
I refuse to take bullshit like that.”

He sounds pretty strong, right? But I know my son! He followed up with another text after I told him everything made work out, just don’t make hasty decisions.

“”Yeah, not going to happen. This is one of those moments where my analytical side wins.”

Hmm, my brainy son is working through this with an analytical mind? I remind him that it just happened and his emotional side will kick in and might win from his analytical side.
I also tell him that nothing is black and white, so give this more thought.

He has been with this girl for 6 months ... we met her in August.

In his next text he is trying to convince me (or himself?) . “I really think rational decision making is my greatest asset.”

Okay ...  funny thing to say, and we both are busy, so the texting stops after the ‘I love you’.

This morning things are a bit different, I find out right away after I text him a hug.

I get one of those texts from him  that ‘dings’ 5 times. A lengthy one! What happened to ‘analytical and rational decision making?’

The emotions took over and sent him tumbling in that dark abyss of pain. It doesn’t matter how large his brain is ... his heart is breaking.

So I call him, I know he is crying ... I do a lot of talking ...  about life, trust, second chances. Black and white and grey-tones of people, their actions and lies.

He asks me, “I don’t trust many people as it is, if I forgive her now, how do I know she won’t do it again?”

“Nobody knows, if she will do it again ... SHE doesn’t even know ... it is one of the chances we take in life, son.”

Maybe you understand ... maybe you have been there ... I had no clue it would hurt like this.
I just know that I can’t fix it ... no band-aid in the world can fix it!

Random updates

The weekend is over ... I have been up since 4:30 AM and Big T is already working.
We have a promise of 70 - degree weather after we have almost blown away all weekend.


My Burning Bush (such a naughty name for a plant) lost a lot of it’s brilliant leaves and the Mums in my pots suffered from frost. Yet the ones on my patio are still okay.


We tired to cover my ‘strawberry hill’ with piles of leaves, we sure have enough of those, but the wind had other plans. When I planted all those strawberry plants I was advised to cover them with straw in the winter, but since it is hilly in our yard, we know that won’t stay either.
So yesterday we covered them with landscaping fabric, and hammered staples into the dirt to keep it in place. We also put some weights on it. (Pieces of left-over decking)


We brought food (and visited) friends ... I posted before how my friend crashed her 4-wheeler and ended up in intense care ... her hubby and 3 kids are doing pretty good ... we take turns bringing meals. There were no head-injuries, but her pelvis is broken, liver, spleen and lungs have been damaged — 13 broken ribs. After two weeks the kids got to see her for ONE hour.


Today my mother had to go to a cardiologist ... she has had so many problems this last year and now there are concerns about her heart. My sister is going to Holland to visit, leaving next week.


I am considering going for a week during Christmas ... Big T will be staying home ... maybe he can keep up my blog and you can keep him company?


One more thing ....
I had a meeting with the mother of the little boy that shows signs of learning disabilities. Thanks to all the feedback on one of my last blogs it was easier for me to talk to her and help her understand. The good news is ... she has agreed to get him evaluated!

What else can I do?

What else can I do? A question for teachers, counselors and psychologists?
Most of you know that I am an in-home daycare/preschool provider. One floor of our home is my ‘one-room-school-house’. I have taught children in a classroom forum at an older age and I have to admit that this young, small group is much more humbling and demanding.

Each child and each problem is a new experience and I will do anything in my power to give MY KIDS a good start in life.

The child I am concerned about is 4 years old and I would consider him very slow. I can see a language deficiency ... he often looks at me like he doesn’t have a clue what I am talking about.

When he first came to me he was already two years old: he could not speak and only ate yogurt.

This is one of the reasons I prefer to start educating my babies from 3 months on! Because this child had/has not been exposed to the proper challenges in his life. It didn’t take me long to make some changes — he was speaking, self-feeding and potty-trained in about 6 months.

What bothers me though ... the mother doesn’t seem to think anything is out of the ordinary.
I read a lot of books to the kids ... and discuss them with 2, 3 and 4 year olds. Different types of books to entice them into THINKING!

When I ask this boy, "Is it safe for a puppy to be on the street?" , the boy will promptly say, "Yes"

I rethink and reword my question, "Should puppies be playing on the street, where there are cars?" He answered, "Yes" again! This time I had added the word CARS, to give him more of a reason to say, "NO"

We have also started the concept ‘same and different’ an important concept for this age. I had a picture of 4 umbrellas covered with a star-design, the 5^th umbrella was blank.
I ask him which umbrella is different. His answer, "Two"

I reword my question and ask, "Are these umbrellas all the same?" His answer, "Yes"

We try different concepts ... Including sheep, four white, one black. I ask him to look at them closely. Do they all look like grandma’s sheep? (Hers are all white)

He tells me they are just like Grandma’s. I say, "All of them?"

"Yep" is the answer.

I make this problem solving a bit easier. Four big blocks ... One small one. (No luck}

Finally I show him 4 spoons and one fork ... he tells me they are the same.

One of my TWO-year-olds interrupts and yells, "No, that is a fork, those are spoons."

We have the same problem with: placement of items, taller and shorter, bigger and smaller, etc.

I don’t think this child has the proper grasp on language and the sad part is, he doesn’t get a lot of exposure (f.e. never been to the zoo) and I know they don’t take time to read to him.

He owns a DSI and plays games on that thing, but I have never watched him play, so I don’t know how well he does with this.

It took a lot of patience, but he can put his own shoes on and is doing 24-puzzle pieces at my house. (At home he can’t put his shoes on .. They tell me)

I would like to see him get tested ... a language evaluation might show us how to work with him more efficiently. The problem is, his mother tells me he is fine ... he is just ‘pretending’ he doesn’t know the answers to my questions. I don’t think this is true, because he would LOVE to get a sticker! And I know how he glows when I tell him that I am proud of him.

Sometimes he even asks me, "Are you happy with me?"

I am happy with ANY child, that will try to do the task I put in front of him/her!

So ... any idea how I can help this child?