He is going back to Afghanistan after Christmas

We have not seen our nephew for a while, but he will be home for Christmas, yet in January he will have to go for his second round of Afghanistan. I am proud of him, for doing what he does. And I know how hard it has been on my sister.

You might want to check out 'All I want for Christmas ... HMS Ocean' on Utube, a very awesome treat!

I watched the news this morning and found out how much out taxes will go up next year. Will it help our country, or just hurt us ... because we are just climbing out of that hole of unemployment.

And Sarah Palin is running for president?

Since I can’t fix the world, I guess I will just focus on our own little world. And this Christmas will be good. My sisters kids are all home and so is our son. For the first time in many years we will be able to get them all together. And I am looking forward to that!

We will not exchange gifts, but we will spent good family time together. Lots of good food and our Dutch game, called ‘SJOELEN’. We used to have a blast with that!

I am sure the cousins will pick on each other as always and there will be lots of laughs.

This is how Christmas should be ... MERRY!! And I wish YOU a very Merry Christmas!

When are we too old to fall in Love?

I see people of all ages on this site, looking for that special someone, not just for a roll in the hay.
It makes me happy to see that, it proves to me that the ability to fall in love might be ... forever?
After my divorce it did cross my mind, that I might spend the rest of my life ALONE. I wasn’t that old yet, but it seemed to me that my love-life was over! As it turned out, it had not even started yet. My real love came later, and it came unexpected, out of nowhere. I was not even looking for love, yet it found me!



When I ran across this picture I was moved by the passion, the look on their faces ... I have seen that look on younger faces, a look just like it!

You should NEVER give up hope to find true love, because just when you are not watching, there it is! We can embrace love at any age, count each day, even when they might be numbered, yet the intensity of the love that is felt, will even be deeper. Because it will be truly appreciated.

Please tell me ... you have heard of Demis Roussos, or Aphrodite’s Child?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV7X5tPt6wc

A few nights ago I woke up and clearly heard inside my (crazy) head ‘Goodbye my love, good bye’ .... it was haunting me, because just that day I had found out that a friend of mine had died.
She passed away after her second bout with cancer ... she was an awesome person that was my son’s teacher during his ‘gifted program’ from age 7 till 12. She taught me how to deal with my son. Not many people realize, but gifted children can have a very hard time socializing and are often lonely and difficult.

Somehow the song seemed to have something to do with her, yet I didn’t understand the connection. Wasn’t that a lovesong? When I listened to it and looked up the lyrics I realized this song could have a totally different meaning.

When I was a teenager I remember having a major crush on this handsome man. He was born in Egypt, till his family moved back to Greece. Demis was in a band ‘Aphrodite’s Child and his voice wasn’t discovered till the lead-singer took a break and asked him to sing a few songs.
Demi became an immediate hit in Europe after that. Young girls like myself carried a major crush on his dark, wild look.
His music carries the influence of the Middle East and Greece  combined and his voice is haunting.

So now I am in the USA and NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT HIM?

I went on the internet and found a lot of his music ... the old videos have poor quality, but several seem to have been redone and still make chills come down my spine . So much passion!!

The man is grey now, his voice slightly trembles, but he still sings.
Some of my favorites .....

‘Good-bye my love, good-bye’
‘Forever and ever’
‘My friend the wind’
‘Follow me’

And with Aphrodite’s Child ...’ Rain and tears’

~~~~~~~~~

And here are the lyrics to the song ‘Follow me’

Follow me to a land across the shining sea

Waiting beyond the world that we have known

Beyond a world we dreamed could be

And the joy we have tasted

Follow me along the road where only love can see

Rising above the fully of the night

Into the light beyond the tears

And all the years we have wasted

Follow me to a distant land as mountain high

Where all the music that we always kept inside will fill the sky

Singing in the silence where the heart's real

While the world goes on turning, turning

Turning, follow me

Follow me to a land across the shining sea

Rising above the fully of the night

Into the light beyond the tears

And all the years we have wasted

Follow me to a distant land as mountain high

Where all the music that we always kept inside will fill the sky

Singing in the silence where the heart's real

While the world goes on turning, turning

Turning, follow me

Take my hand

And we'll find the land

Beyond the shining sea

Follow me

Thank God, the BUSH is back!

So they took away my furry snacks and my giant litter box. 

They expect me to aim all my shit into this 1' X 11/2' stinky shit-hole. 

My sunbathing days are over!!!   And even if I am lucky enough to find some weak rays that come through these ‘special windows’, I have to knock off all this crap to find a place to curl up.

But hey ... I will quit bitching for now ... 

Thank God .... the yearly bush is back!

I would ring my Christmas bells for you ... but they cut them off (it had something to do with that stinky shit-hole I kept missing). But how am I supposed to know that those rainy stalls they shower in ....  and those flower-pots are not for ME to use?

I know, I know ... I said I would stop bitching ... for now 

Red Shoes

Some days I share details from my work with you, today is one of those days.
Tomorrow we will go back to perving!


In case you are new to my blog, this is a follow-up on a previous blog.


One of the children in my preschool/daycare is four years old and functions at the level of a two-year-old. Except, the two-year-old's are starting to pass him by. His mother had ignored my ‘hints’ that we might have a problem. As a qualified Montessori teacher I do know that the little ones develop at their own speed, but in this case the child is having many problems.


1. Low self-esteem, I keep hearing ‘I can’t’
2. He doesn’t really play
3. He still doesn't recognize any symbols (alphabet and numbers), even though we work on them daily. My two-year-olds are remembering some of them.
4. Concepts of ‘same and different’ and ‘bigger and smaller’ ... he can’t see it, not even in concrete form.


A few weeks ago I had a serious talk with Mom and she agreed that something needs to be done.


She tearfully hugged me before she left and thanked me. The next day she asked me NOT to talk about this problem with her husband, since he always overreacts. So I have not mentioned it to him.


Today I brought up the subject once more with Mom. Nothing seemed to be happening and he is not doing well.


She was very defensive this time, brought up some ‘clever’ things that the boy had said and done. Funny thing was, these were things I had just read to him in a book. 


I noticed he has no imaginary world, so I am ‘playing with him’ doing make-believe. The mother didn’t believe that he had no imaginary world, because the other day he saw a red light in the sky and mentioned it was Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer. I explained to her that we just read that book and I TOLD THE KIDS to watch for that red light.


To make an already long story short, she explained to me that testing him would put a label on him. She also told me, she shared this with ONE person, a lady she works with and this person told her, her son was probably fine, not to worry about it. 


That was all she needed to back out? She is more worried about ‘labels’ than helping her child?
Also, they still don’t have time to READ to him yet he loves books. I have hundreds of books and I read a few every day.
I told her she could borrow my books any time.


I am frustrated with this..... 
The rest of my young crew is brilliant. We sing songs in English, German, French and Dutch. We do lots of special projects for the Holidays.


My three-year-olds are recognizing some words! My two-year-old's have rap-sessions while going potty. Potty-training two kids at the time is fun! I have no idea how the rapping got started, and they only do this while going on their little potties. 


So yes, my place is still a happy place, and the ‘troubled child’ is not troubled, yet I am! I wish I could help him better.


Okay, now you are still wondering ... but what about the ‘RED SHOES’ this blog is supposed to be about?


The little guy I am worried about has worn the same pair of shoes last winter ... all summer and is still wearing them every day.  Three of his cousins wore these shoes before him. The sole is worn off the heel and the toe and the shoes are getting tight.(they are not rich, but he does own a DSI)


When the kids talk about Santa and the gifts they are hoping to receive this boy tells them (and me)that he is getting ‘red shoes’! He started talking about this way before Christmas.


And I WANT HIM TO HAVE THOSE RED SHOES!


I give my little ones a small gift, they find it under my chimney. There is always a note from Santa, that tells them to OPEN the gifts at home. This prevents WANTING the gift someone else received!


But giving a child shoes? A bit different ... I admit!


Today I discussed this with his mother ... she said ... SURE! 
She was not aware of her son’s wish.


So Santa will give this little boy RED SHOES for Christmas!

The ultimate bullying? The prize goes to our greedy insurance companies!

I looked up the WORD ‘insurance’ in my dictionary ...

Insurance ...
1. PROTECTION against risk, loss, or ruin, by a contract in which an insurer or underwriter GUARANTEES to pay a sum of money to the insured, or the beneficiary in the event of death, accident, fire, etc, in return for the payment of premiums: also, the business of PROVIDING this PROTECTION.
2. A contract GUARANTEEING such protection.


On October 30 my friend was in a major accident ... she was in a coma for 10 days.
Left side of her rib-cage is crushed ... 9 fractured ribs ..  Both lungs were punctured
Broken pelvis requiring a pin
Ruptured spleen and liver

Needles to say, she has been through Hell lately! But she is a very positive girl and a fighter, thank goodness!

I have been E-mailing with her, her father gave her a laptop to use in the hospital.
Enclosed are the two last ones.





(Nov 24)
“Things are coming along for me. I had a little set back
yesterday. Started running fever and having chills and
tremors. I have a slight infection in my pin site at my
pelvis. Started me on IV antibiotics. Also increased pain,
that required me to go back to the IV pain medicine. I am
feeling better this morning. I am keeping my fingers crossed
that the antibiotic is working to allow me a good day. Kids
and D will be over later today to make my day complete. 
I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life.”








(Nov 29) “Had set back over weekend with chest pain And shortness ofbreath. Spent weekend having multiple tests. They did rule
out heart attack, blood clot, and gallbladder attack. They
are running an overnight monitoring of my breathing to see
if my levels drop requiring oxygen. I will probably be
coming home on Wednesday. Insurance will only allow so much
time in hospital. They are saying I am independent enough
to go home. I am a fighter and will survive no matter where
I am at. I keep thinking of you guys.”



I scares the daylights out of me that THEY have decided she is well enough to go home.
This is called PROTECTION? Or maybe this is the GUARANTEE my dictionary told me about?
I hope there is a way the doctors can make this insurance group responsible for their promises!

Two set-backs in ONE WEEK!

Bullying pisses me off ... I am so worried about her!

It makes me sad when he is so negative .... yet I love him so much

It makes me sad when he is so negative .... yet I love him so much

No, I am not talking about my husband, he is a very positive man, not talking about our son either. He is a perfect mix of happy, pissy and sarcasm for his age.


Maybe it bothers me today, because in the USA we are all talking about how thankful we are right now. In the Netherlands they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. But he could have so much to be thankful for, if he would just LOOK AROUND! Maybe older people get this way? I don’t remember him being this way when I was a kid.


I am talking about my father.


So, yes, now I am saying negative things about my father. I hope you don’t mind that I share these feelings today. If you have read my blog before, you know how much I love my parents. I hope to go see them real soon ... I am planning a trip after Christmas.


The reason I feel this way right now?


I talked the my parents on the phone for an hour this morning. We do this every Sunday. One week they call my sister (she lives near me) the next week it is my turn. 


But she is in Holland right now, with her 26-year-old daughter. They are visiting for 10 days.
Most of these days my sister is with them, my niece is doing a bit more sight-seeing.
The E-mails my sister is sending me tell me how much time she is spending with them. They are playing games, watching tv, listening to music. She cooked for them several times. One day my other sister took her to visit an aunt, where they stayed for ONE HOUR. She lives an hour-and-a-half away! But my visiting sister has explained, “This visit is for Mama and Papa!” So they only stayed for ONE HOUR!


Sometimes elderly people seem to get very selfish, or maybe he is just confused. He was whining and complaining, telling me how she was gone all the time. And then he would say things like, “I understand, we are old and boring.”


Why is it that sometimes elderly people get so manipulative? Or is that a stupid question?


My sister is a jewel ... maybe even too nice!! When I wrote about her neighbor taking her flowers and vegetables in one of my blogs, someone even commented that my sister should, ‘stand up for herself; that she was a doormat.’


So while my father is going on and on with his complaints, my mother is commenting on the scent of fresh air, when my niece comes back from a walk. She is grateful to be alive, after having had several surgeries during the last year.


My mother comments about the good things she is enjoying during my sister’s visit.


It is almost like they were living different lives, instead of sharing the same home, the same kids, the same visits.


So this is a rant, I guess, and I thank you for the ear. I will be going to visit them soon, and I must be positive and bring them smiles!


Maybe you have elderly family and you understand I don’t write this because I don’t love him, I just wished he could be happy and grateful for having had such a long happy life. And for kids that love them very much. Kids that travel across the ocean, to be with them!

I did okay with his girlfriend and I LOVED my messy kitchen yesterday

He brought ‘the girl’!  He almost broke up with her, because she betrayed him. 

Did you ever go there? Telling him all the neutral things that make sense. Inside, as his mother you are thinking of ways TO KILL THAT LITTLE BITCH!

So, you thought I was a nice person? Maybe! But don’t hurt my kid!

He made up with her after he told me he couldn’t! Yet emotions took over!

And here they are ... together ... at our house! Obviously in love!

I wondered how I would feel, and act towards her. I also wondered how Big T would be.

And I am proud to say ... WE ARE ALL OK!

They arrived Wednesday night ... 

So yesterday, Big T and I started early as usual. And I knew he wanted to get that turkey in the oven by 10 am, so I was hurrying to do my desserts! And then I started on my son’s laundry (yes, he did it again!) Even though he told me, he would take care of it himself. Ah well, so I spoil him.

I don’t get to do it that often.

When the young couple joins us, our kid is telling us about this no-bake cheesecake he would like to add to the desserts. Not that we needed any more, it’s no wonder my jeans are so snug right now!

Picture this kitchen!

Big T is a messy cook and he has shit all over the place! Now my kid starts pulling out bowls, measuring cups, mixer ... asking for this and that ingredient.

HE WANTS PRETZELS! For the bottom part of this cheesecake. Girlfriend grins, tells me she was shocked also, but it tastes good!

Pretzels need to be smashed! He puts them in a ziplock and stomps around on it with bare feet.

Of course the baggie pops!! Pretzel dust and pieces are entertaining the dog!

We start over and I suggest the potato masher.

Girlfriend seems very submissive while ‘helping’ him in the kitchen. She tells me our son always cooks at her house.

So now he wants heavy cream and since we don’t have it, he will use 2% milk. OK!

Except he thinks he is going to BEAT IT STIFF!

My kid doesn’t seem to realize that milk doesn’t get STIFF!

So now a trip is required to the store — it HAS TO get stiff.

Poor kid seems to have a problem with things not getting stiff ... he flunked his lemon meringue pie last week too ... it didn’t get stiff either!

I ask him, “You are going LIKE THAT!?”

He is dressed in gym-shorts and flip-flaps. She is wearing a coat and boots.

They have the giggles when they get back! We now open the booze! Time for a drink!

He beats the cream, we are drinking now ... everybody slap-happy ... and the kitchen?

Holy Shit ... you have never seen anything like it!!!

Would you believe I was happy?  This is what HOME should feel like!

After we stuffed ourselves we hung out on the couch and watched a movie, ‘Wrecked’ very intense!  Dessert came during movie-time and that cheese cake was actually very good!

Our Thanksgiving was awesome .... how was yours?  I hope it was filled with love, joy and food!!!

When you DREAD the Holidays ...

For some of us the arrival of a Holiday weighs heavy on the heart. Holidays can be a horrible strain when you are all alone, or if this is the first Thanksgiving/Christmas without your loved one. 

Maybe you got divorced this year or maybe  your relationship ended.

 Or  maybe this is the first Holiday without one of your parents.

A sudden sadness, or a renewal of grief can be brought on by a day where loved ones gather and share. This sudden sadness can be overwhelming.

PLEASE, don’t stay alone ... ALLOW your friends to help you! You would not want anyone you love or care for suffer like this, so don’t walk away from your friends. There is always an extra chair at the table, extra hugs are there for you ... 

I am not quoting this from a book, I have been there. (Many years ago, but I remember oh so well)

After spending Thanksgiving with friends, I decided I could do Christmas alone ... nobody would know ... I lied to those who were kind enough to ask me;  I  told them I was spending time with ‘so-and-so’.

My divorce was final in May, and I should be fine by the Holidays, right?

WRONG!!

I can tell you what you should NOT do!

1. Don’t go for a walk at night and look in those windows, where families are gathered

2. Don’t go shopping on Christmas Eve, while they are playing ‘Oh Holy Night’

3. Don’t hit the bottle, depression will hit you over the head, and you will drown in self-pity

You don’t HAVE to be alone, please know there is always somebody that would be there for you, if you allow them. So please allow your friends to help you!

I wish I could invite all the lonely people for Thanksgiving, but I might need a house as big as a country for that!

But I can send you some love through cyber-space ... so pucker up, and open your arms wide!

Hugs to all of you!

My popcorn fiasco ...

When I was a teenager I used to babysit for families from different countries, to practice my languages. I took English, French and German. Kids always tell you the truth when you make a mistake and I felt safe ‘practicing’ my language skills.

I learned a lot more though. Different cultures, different foods. It was fun!

One food group that is not popular in Holland is corn ... it is for pigs ... and I mean real pigs!
Not people-pigs!

During one of my visits I was invited to stay for popcorn. I was amazed! They showed me those tiny kernels afterwards and told me, that the heat and some oil makes it pop. This was before ‘microwave popcorn’, many moons ago ...

They were kind enough to give me a small bag with kernels, so I could share this little miracle with my family.

My mother did not like us kids in the kitchen ... I had to learn to cook on my own. So I didn’t tell her what I was up to. She was busy washing the windows on the outside, something she did every week. Yep, scrubby Dutch!

So I took a frying pan, put the oil in it, just like they had told me ... when it got hot I put the kernels in. My siblings were amazed at my bravery in the kitchen. They had followed me to the kitchen, with their friends. Our house was a happy drop-in at all times!

When the kernels started popping they flew out of the frying pan and soon popcorn was coming down like snowflakes on a winter day. The kids were all screaming and diving for popcorn, making so much noise my mother came in to check up on us.

She was not happy with me at first, but since it all got cleaned up FAST, she had a good laugh at my account.

You still can’t buy popcorn in Holland and when relatives come over for a visit they stand and look at the huge choice of popcorn. Wondering how we can ever make a choice ...

Do you have a favorite?

How can anger overtake motherly love ... with a 13 month old baby?

The ‘sarah-alert’ came out on Tuesday. Baby disappeared from his bedroom.
Mommy put him in bed at 10:30 on Monday night and when she went in his room to get him up Tuesday 11 AM  he was gone.




 The Sarah-alarm went out at 1:30 PM. Newsflashes on tv and radio and also on road-signs all around StLouis. There were reports of a man walking alongside the highway with what appeared to be a blue blanket? Sobbing family members during the evening news: young parents everywhere making sure windows were tightly locked, before they put THEIR baby to bed.


Terry and I watched later that night how a tiny body was retrieved from a wooded area, discovered by people that were talking a walk. My eyes filled with tears when I saw how tenderly the police officer carried a tiny body to the car. Was THIS the missing baby?


When I could talk again I said, “She didn’t walk into that baby’s room till 11 AM? A 13 month slept that late?”


The next morning I heard that same reaction from some of the young couples I work for.


Wednesday morning I received a call from my sister. “The 20-year-old mother confessed to beating her baby when he wouldn’t go back to sleep during the night. She couldn’t take it anymore.”


A horrible, tragic event! She lost control and JUST DID THAT!  She beat him till he stopped crying. Beat him till he STOPPED ... everything ... he would never bother her again. 


Last night more images, including a phone-number parents could call if they needed help.
 In case they felt they were losing control. Suddenly the media realized MORE young parents might need help with uncontrollable anger. 


But will that number be there when they need it? Will it prevent another parent from committing this unthinkable crime?


HOW COULD YOU ...  how could you possibly beat your baby like that?

No candy for Christmas ... the Sugar Plum Fairy was fired ... for cursing!

The Sugar Plum Fairy was fired for cursing, but a growing number of fans are hoping she'll get her job back.


Laura Coppinger, 29, of St. Louis, is an actress who has portrayed the Sugar Plum Fairy for the past six years on historic Main Street in St. Charles during the annual Christmas Traditions festival.


I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Well, she must have cursed on the job.”


But if you thought that, you would be wrong. Nope, Laura was fired for cursing while she was taking a drug test that all city employees must take. Again, I know what you’re thinking:


 “Somebody with the city agreed to pay someone to be a Sugar Plum Fairy, but Laura has to take the drug test?”


If you’re thinking that, you have a very good point.


Laura was taking her drug test when she “accidentally flushed the toilet.” Apparently, flushing the toilet during a drug test is a no-no.


Note to self: Never use a bathroom after someone takes a drug test.


Laura was told, that because she flushed the toilet, she would have to stay until she could provide another sample. Staying would make her late for a scheduled job interview. That’s when Laura uttered a curse-word under her breath.  I’m not sure what she said when she found out she was going to be late for her job interview, but I know what I would have said.


Of course the REAL Sugar Plum Fairy would be pristine and virginal and she would NEVER say bad words ... but Laura is only a PRETEND Sugar Fairy ...  She is a real life woman and she might EVEN be on AFF ...  And who knows what else she might be doing when she is not in her Fairy Chambers.


The Post-Dispatch quoted the St. Charles human resources department as saying that Laura violated a Christmas Traditions character code of conduct by saying “naughty words.”


Second note to self: Never invite a member of the St. Charles human resources department to my house or Big T’s work.


Beyond the statement from the human resources department, the folks with the city aren’t talking about the firing, but a lot of folks in St. Charles are talking. Apparently some of the folks in St. Charles think Laura’s firing is “&^%$.”


The good news is that a guy named Mike Swart is trying to turn a negative into a positive. He has started a Facebook page to try to save Laura’s job. As part of his Facebook page, he is asking folks to contribute to a food drive to stock a local food pantry. He is asking folks to donate Sugar Plum Fairy fare, such as cookies and candies, as well as standard food pantry items.


This is what Laura told the Post-Dispatch when she heard about the food drive:


“I think it’s lovely, absolutely wonderful that something good is coming out of this after all.”


Spoken like a true Sugar Plum Fairy.

When your child suffers from a broken heart ... Shit, it hurts!!!

Yesterday I received a text:

“I broke up with C today. I think I’ll still come home for Thanksgiving, but it’ll just be me.”

I send him a text, asking if he is okay:

“I’ll be fine. I just found out something that ruined any trust. And then she lied and made excuses.
I refuse to take bullshit like that.”

He sounds pretty strong, right? But I know my son! He followed up with another text after I told him everything made work out, just don’t make hasty decisions.

“”Yeah, not going to happen. This is one of those moments where my analytical side wins.”

Hmm, my brainy son is working through this with an analytical mind? I remind him that it just happened and his emotional side will kick in and might win from his analytical side.
I also tell him that nothing is black and white, so give this more thought.

He has been with this girl for 6 months ... we met her in August.

In his next text he is trying to convince me (or himself?) . “I really think rational decision making is my greatest asset.”

Okay ...  funny thing to say, and we both are busy, so the texting stops after the ‘I love you’.

This morning things are a bit different, I find out right away after I text him a hug.

I get one of those texts from him  that ‘dings’ 5 times. A lengthy one! What happened to ‘analytical and rational decision making?’

The emotions took over and sent him tumbling in that dark abyss of pain. It doesn’t matter how large his brain is ... his heart is breaking.

So I call him, I know he is crying ... I do a lot of talking ...  about life, trust, second chances. Black and white and grey-tones of people, their actions and lies.

He asks me, “I don’t trust many people as it is, if I forgive her now, how do I know she won’t do it again?”

“Nobody knows, if she will do it again ... SHE doesn’t even know ... it is one of the chances we take in life, son.”

Maybe you understand ... maybe you have been there ... I had no clue it would hurt like this.
I just know that I can’t fix it ... no band-aid in the world can fix it!

Random updates

The weekend is over ... I have been up since 4:30 AM and Big T is already working.
We have a promise of 70 - degree weather after we have almost blown away all weekend.


My Burning Bush (such a naughty name for a plant) lost a lot of it’s brilliant leaves and the Mums in my pots suffered from frost. Yet the ones on my patio are still okay.


We tired to cover my ‘strawberry hill’ with piles of leaves, we sure have enough of those, but the wind had other plans. When I planted all those strawberry plants I was advised to cover them with straw in the winter, but since it is hilly in our yard, we know that won’t stay either.
So yesterday we covered them with landscaping fabric, and hammered staples into the dirt to keep it in place. We also put some weights on it. (Pieces of left-over decking)


We brought food (and visited) friends ... I posted before how my friend crashed her 4-wheeler and ended up in intense care ... her hubby and 3 kids are doing pretty good ... we take turns bringing meals. There were no head-injuries, but her pelvis is broken, liver, spleen and lungs have been damaged — 13 broken ribs. After two weeks the kids got to see her for ONE hour.


Today my mother had to go to a cardiologist ... she has had so many problems this last year and now there are concerns about her heart. My sister is going to Holland to visit, leaving next week.


I am considering going for a week during Christmas ... Big T will be staying home ... maybe he can keep up my blog and you can keep him company?


One more thing ....
I had a meeting with the mother of the little boy that shows signs of learning disabilities. Thanks to all the feedback on one of my last blogs it was easier for me to talk to her and help her understand. The good news is ... she has agreed to get him evaluated!

What else can I do?

What else can I do? A question for teachers, counselors and psychologists?
Most of you know that I am an in-home daycare/preschool provider. One floor of our home is my ‘one-room-school-house’. I have taught children in a classroom forum at an older age and I have to admit that this young, small group is much more humbling and demanding.

Each child and each problem is a new experience and I will do anything in my power to give MY KIDS a good start in life.

The child I am concerned about is 4 years old and I would consider him very slow. I can see a language deficiency ... he often looks at me like he doesn’t have a clue what I am talking about.

When he first came to me he was already two years old: he could not speak and only ate yogurt.

This is one of the reasons I prefer to start educating my babies from 3 months on! Because this child had/has not been exposed to the proper challenges in his life. It didn’t take me long to make some changes — he was speaking, self-feeding and potty-trained in about 6 months.

What bothers me though ... the mother doesn’t seem to think anything is out of the ordinary.
I read a lot of books to the kids ... and discuss them with 2, 3 and 4 year olds. Different types of books to entice them into THINKING!

When I ask this boy, "Is it safe for a puppy to be on the street?" , the boy will promptly say, "Yes"

I rethink and reword my question, "Should puppies be playing on the street, where there are cars?" He answered, "Yes" again! This time I had added the word CARS, to give him more of a reason to say, "NO"

We have also started the concept ‘same and different’ an important concept for this age. I had a picture of 4 umbrellas covered with a star-design, the 5^th umbrella was blank.
I ask him which umbrella is different. His answer, "Two"

I reword my question and ask, "Are these umbrellas all the same?" His answer, "Yes"

We try different concepts ... Including sheep, four white, one black. I ask him to look at them closely. Do they all look like grandma’s sheep? (Hers are all white)

He tells me they are just like Grandma’s. I say, "All of them?"

"Yep" is the answer.

I make this problem solving a bit easier. Four big blocks ... One small one. (No luck}

Finally I show him 4 spoons and one fork ... he tells me they are the same.

One of my TWO-year-olds interrupts and yells, "No, that is a fork, those are spoons."

We have the same problem with: placement of items, taller and shorter, bigger and smaller, etc.

I don’t think this child has the proper grasp on language and the sad part is, he doesn’t get a lot of exposure (f.e. never been to the zoo) and I know they don’t take time to read to him.

He owns a DSI and plays games on that thing, but I have never watched him play, so I don’t know how well he does with this.

It took a lot of patience, but he can put his own shoes on and is doing 24-puzzle pieces at my house. (At home he can’t put his shoes on .. They tell me)

I would like to see him get tested ... a language evaluation might show us how to work with him more efficiently. The problem is, his mother tells me he is fine ... he is just ‘pretending’ he doesn’t know the answers to my questions. I don’t think this is true, because he would LOVE to get a sticker! And I know how he glows when I tell him that I am proud of him.

Sometimes he even asks me, "Are you happy with me?"

I am happy with ANY child, that will try to do the task I put in front of him/her!

So ... any idea how I can help this child?

Gratitude and passion

Swept from a breeze off the vineyards
poured from a fine bodied wine
is the mystery of my sensations
undulating over my tongue
and my mind

Vibrating chords of my passion and spirit
falling under the spell of enchantment
by the elegance
of the timbre
of his voice

A spontaneous promise
scented with
fresh cloves of garlic
in the wisps
of his hair

The Albatross carries me
over the rolling hills
quilted with raw emotions
that radiate with abundance
and naked passion ...

The Best Gift

Today is my birthday and the best gift I received was a phone call early this morning, where my elderly parents were singing to me TOGETHER from their phone in the Netherlands.

Yes, they are BOTH still alive and ... YES still married together.

The last few years I was depressed on my birthday, the ‘getting old stuff’ is pretty scary to me.

Birthdays are so exciting when you are a child, yet when you mature these birthdays seem to come around faster each year. I have finally matured enough to realize, that I am happier now, than I have ever been in my entire life.

I have become more accepting, more forgiving and more appreciative of the small things in life, that are actually HUGE! Yes, I can see that now!

So now I can say ... Happy Birthday to me!

Wrong Hose, Honey!

Long, long time ago, when Big T was still ‘a Little T’ his parents owned two cars, one of them a very old station wagon. Even in those days gas prices were going up and down. And at the tender age of 4 he understood that his parents were not happy about this.

One day, while he was playing with his toys, he heard his mother ask his father to ‘fill up’ her car.

His dad was watching sports on tv and in no hurry to see to this task. He told his wife, that he would do it after a while and referred once more to the gas prices and the car being a guzzler.

Little T went outside. He had a great plan and he was going to surprise them. He just knew they would be tickled pink.

He opened the car door and pushed the start-button on the floor: he knew he could move the car closer to where it needed to be. After repeating this process a few times the car had rolled far enough down the drive way. Now he could get the hose in the car. He filled it ALL THE WAY!

Mission completed he went back inside to proudly tell his daddy, that he no longer had to fill up the car, because he had already taken care of it for him.

A Tiny Seed

　
It was a beautiful morning when I walked out the door with our dog at 5:45AM for our early morning walk. One of those mornings with a star-studded sky and I could make out ‘the little dipper’ and also ‘the big dipper’ but some of them were puzzling me, like a very bright star low to the west.

I try to focus, it is shaped different, with a tail ... like a seed, of a sperm, YES, A SPERM!

The dog is doing twirlies, ready to drop something smelly! He always has to do LOTS of twirlies before he gets down to business. Not a sound to be heard, except the crunching of leaves.

I keep trying to focus on that star, making my eyes water in the brisk morning air.
This short gravel road goes into the park, nobody lives here, so he can drop turds all he likes, but it is pitch-dark, only one street-light way behind us, throwing weird shadows.

When a large shape moves beside me, my heart makes a flip, and a huge buck seems to extract himself from the shadows and runs away, white flopping tail dancing as he runs.
I don’t scream, because I am trying to catch my breath, but the dog makes enough noise for both of us. I guess my dog didn’t smell we were standing right next to that deer? A lot of people walk through there with dogs to go to the park. Maybe too many smells?

Next time I walk here ... it will NOT be dark!

When I come home I have a cup of coffee to calm down ... the first kids arrive at 7 AM
Due to the vision of that special star my book-choice for the kids is ‘A Tiny Seed’, by Eric Carle. I consider Mr Carle one of the best authors of children books.
Yet today I also found a special message in there for myself.


A tiny seed, smaller than the rest is blown away by strong autumn winds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It doesn’t burn up, because it gets too close to the sun, it can’t fly that high
It doesn’t freeze by dropping in the snow on the mountain top, because it is not that heavy
It doesn’t fall in the desert to dry out, because it is light and keeps on flying
Also ....
It doesn’t fall in the ocean and drown
It is not eaten by the mouse (it is so small, the mouse didn’t see it)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the tiny seed finally opens, it is kind of late in the season. Nobody plucks it, nobody steps on it. It grows and it grows, until finally it is taller than any flower anybody has ever seen and people are coming from everywhere to look at that
gorgeous flower.

The tallest, most beautiful flower, that was once the tiniest seed!

Is your self-esteem good , broken, healing or healed?

As we scoot through life we seldom make it ‘all-the-way’ with a good self-esteem. Just look around, or better yet, look in the mirror.

Many of us go through stages of ‘self-esteem’, because life will pull us down somewhere along the line. But if you start off with a low self-esteem as a child, anything that happens after that might tear you down even more.

Did you ever try to be helpful in school to a child that obviously had a lower self-esteem than yourself? Only to find out that this child was USING YOU to climb that pedestal to feel better? Climbing all over you, hurting you?

When I was a child, my parents were very concerned that we might think we were BETTER than others. I have no idea why, but we were told this over and over. We were expected to know our place and be respectful. Children that seemed spoiled were called ‘over het paard getild’ which translates into ‘carried OVER the horse. Only royalty and very rich people have horses in the Netherlands, so that meant you were spoiled rotten.

The biggest compliment my parents could get, was if people said, "Your kids were so good, we didn’t even know they were there." They would glow with pride!

The part they forgot though, is compliment us ... I can’t recall EVER receiving a compliment from my parents when I was a child.

I remember sitting on the steps after sneaking out of bed, listening to them bragging about me, when they had company. I could stay awake for that all night long.

LOVED IT!!

So basically I didn’t start of as ‘miss popularity’.

My ex took down the rest of that self-esteem. His was low (I finally see that now) so he had to put me down to feel better and bigger! The divorce didn’t help much at first, I felt like a failure.

And I got a bit cocky after that ... just for show ... it was all pretense, but I started to believe it myself after a while.

Just the other day I read a blog about obnoxious people, healing from a low self-esteem. The blogger hit the nail on the head ... a healing self-esteem is often not very pretty.

He also mentioned that he had become more understanding and forgiving, when he saw this behavior. Because he knows more now ... about people getting hurt ... and healing.
So I wonder if anyone, has always had a good self-esteem.

Are you hurting, healing or healed?

And please remember, the best gift you can give your child is a good self-esteem. All you need to do is show them, that they are worthy of your time. Be patient at different levels of development, but allow them to ‘do it themselves’!

When a young child yells, "I do it!" don’t take it away from them, but show them how.
Compliment them on their achievement, leave harsh criticism behind. Don’t say anything to your child, you would say to your friends!

Starting with a good self-esteem is so much easier than having to fix it.

Is your self-esteem good , broken, healing or healed?

As we scoot through life we seldom make it ‘all-the-way’ with a good self-esteem. Just look around, or better yet, look in the mirror.

Many of us go through stages of ‘self-esteem’, because life will pull us down somewhere along the line. But if you start off with a low self-esteem as a child, anything that happens after that might tear you down even more.

Did you ever try to be helpful in school to a child that obviously had a lower self-esteem than yourself? Only to find out that this child was USING YOU to climb that pedestal to feel better? Stepping all over you to get there?

When I was a child, my parents were very concerned that we might think we were BETTER than others. I have no idea why, but we were told over and over," You are not better than anybody else."

We were expected to know our place and be respectful. Children that seemed spoiled were called ‘over het paard getild’ which translates into ‘carried OVER the horse'. Only royalty and very rich people have horses in the Netherlands, so that meant you were spoiled rotten.

The biggest compliment my parents could get, was if people said, "Your kids were so good, we didn’t even know they were there." They would glow with pride!

The part they forgot though, is compliment us ... I can’t recall EVER to get a compliment ... directly ... but I had a way ...

I remember sitting on the steps after sneaking out of bed, listening to them bragging about us, when they had company. I could stay awake all night long for that feeling.

 LOVED IT!!

So basically I didn’t start of as ‘miss popularity’.

My ex took down the rest of that self-esteem. His was low (I finally see that now) so he had to put me down to feel better and bigger! The divorce didn’t help much at first, I felt like a failure.

And I got a bit cocky after that ... just for show ... it was all pretense, but I started to believe it myself after a while.

Just the other day I read a blog about obnoxious people, healing from a low self-esteem. The blogger hit the nail on the head ... a healing self-esteem is often not very pretty.

He also mentioned that he had become more understanding and forgiving, when he saw this behavior. Because he knows more now ... about people getting hurt ... and healing.
So I wonder if anyone, has always had a good self-esteem.

Are you hurting, healing or healed?

And please remember, the best gift you can give your child is a good self-esteem. All you need to do is show them, that they are worthy of your time. Be patient at different levels of development, but allow them to ‘do it themselves’! When a young child yells, "I do it!" don’t take it away from them, but show them how.

Compliment them on their achievement, leave harsh criticism behind. Don’t say anything to your child, you would say to your friends!

Starting with a good self-esteem is so much easier than having to fix it.

I have a follower

Welcome, bartender, would you mind pouring me
a glas of red wine?
and sit with me a while

please rest your weary mind
warm your hands
at the fire

Do you hear the music?
Let's dance
do you mind if I lead?
You look so very tired

just rest your head on my shoulder
and hum the song with me

Will this work?

I don't really expect an answer, I know I am kind-off talking to myself. Just clearing my mind. Yes, I have learned people are reading what I write and that is cool, I have a soundboard ... it helps!

So, where was I? Oh yeah .... I remember now ...

Will this work?

My son has been dating a girl that enjoys sex as much as he does ... yes, he told us ... we have always been able to discuss anything.

Yesterday, when he called, I asked how his girlfriend was. It had been a few weeks since we talked, he doesn’t call very often.

He told me she was great, but they did have a problem. She is very introverted and doesn’t like to mingle ... and she doesn’t like to get together with people that are not their age.

He hopes this will pass, since he is a very outgoing person and will talk to anyone. Also, he is the president of a fraternity and has certain obligations. So when they have a gathering and he is doing ‘the rounds’ to make sure everybody feels welcome, while answering questions, he is very much aware that she is sitting at a table ... alone.

I told him that I know several couples, where one is outgoing and the other one isn’t and usually this personality-trait is something we will have to accept, because it won’t change.

Yet both parties need to be comfortable with it.

He is not comfortable with it ... and she is not either. If YOU are in a relationship like this, and it is working for you, how are you making it work?

When life throws you a bone, do you run away or catch it?

I have written before about a sister that has turned her back on us? The last time we saw her and her kids was many many years ago.

She allows my parents a thin straw ... they receive short E-mails now and then, nothing personal. They are not allowed to talk about her E-mails to us. There are many rules and if they brake them, she will be gone. My parents treasure this tiny thread of connection and are very cautious.

She left our family many years ago, declaring they were horrible parents. Her kids are not in touch with ANY OF US!

There is a little bit of contact between this sister and my youngest sister (again with very strict rules) and also with my mother’s youngest sister( our aunt), who somehow feels protective towards ‘the lost child’.

Two of us girls live in the USA and each time we go home to Holland, we have try to reunite.

I gave up many years ago, it used to hurt, but I am passed it now. But I hurt for my elderly parents and I hurt for the sister that lives here with me in the states. She is a soldier, that keeps trying to FIX things, only to get hurt again and again.

So now, this November my USA sister is going home to Holland once more. Her 26-year-old daughter will be going with her. Our parents are not doing well and there are serious concerns about my mother’s health.

Since the ‘estranged sister’ also has a 26-year-old daughter, my traveling sister is trying once more to connect. She thought it would be awesome for the girls to get together.
One of the sister at home, in Holland, knows all the girls are on the bookface and tries to contact them there. AND GUESS WHAT SHE FOUND OUT?

The oldest girl is married and has a one year-old baby!

Needless to say, there is shock, major shock! Do my parents KNOW they are great-grandparents?

Did any of them know?

I was upset last night ... how did it get this way? How can a family get so screwed up? We are normal people. So we have a bi-polar (we think) sibling?

Big T listens to my story, holds me tight and says, "Baby, nothing changed. She didn’t want to be a part of the family, so she didn’t share the fact that she is now a grandmother. Leave it be, don’t give her a reason to totally disappear from your parent’s life."

I saw the pics ... her daughter is gorgeous, the baby is precious, and I guess pics is all we will get.

The First Kiss

　
　
you were taller
than I anticipated
your eyes looking down at me
holding my gaze in a grip

your mouth, closer now
strong and gentle fingers
touching my face, buried in my hair

lips, barely touching mine
like wings of a butterfly
my face in your hands
a smile on your lips

slowly drowning in your eyes
my heartbeat rushing in my ears
your chest vibrating with mine
demanding lips, devouring me

the jumbled flavors of our tongues
losing myself, melting into you
and I know
this is all a first kiss could ever be
　
Gea

The First Kiss,

you were taller
than I anticipated
your eyes looking down at me
holding my gaze in a grip

your mouth, closer now
strong and gentle fingers
touching my face, buried in my hair

lips, barely touching mine
like wings of a butterfly
my face in your hands
a smile on your lips

slowly drowning in your eyes
my heartbeat rushing in my ears
your chest vibrating with mine
demanding lips, devouring me
the jumbled flavors of our tongues

losing myself, melting into you
and I know
this is all a first kiss could ever be

Gea

The Worst Day of your Life?

　
Sometimes we have to sit and ponder a while, as I did the other day when someone asked me this question. My thoughts were alternating between the most painful and the most life-changing.


When I came to a conclusion I heard my ex-husbands voice, "I don’t love you anymore."


Just a few words can sent your world tumbling down in many tiny fragments, even though you knew, deep down you knew. And also, he always made me feel like I was not good enough.


I could never figure out how to reach that level of being ‘good enough’.
I did the things I thought would make a man happy, yet it was not working on him. There was hardly any sex and I was concerned about his well-being, too naive to think about the fact he was getting it elsewhere.


He didn’t want me to seduce him, or initiate sex, he thought it made a woman slutty, yet I heard other men wish for their wives ‘to make the move’. And I can understand totally how it would make a man feel desirable, because it does the same thing for women.


If you want me ... I must be HOT.


So not being wanted fed into my low self-esteem and I was slowly crumbling reaching for straws to make myself more desirable. So the day he told me that he no longer loved me, sent me spiraling down in a dark abyss of pain and loneliness. And I kept wondering ... WHY? Why must I hurt like this, what did I do wrong?


He was my first love and I never felt pain like this before.
THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!
So I thought!


Yet now, more than 20 years later, I finally realize ... IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.


Sometimes, to move on, we have to let go of the ‘old life’ so we can start a new life.
It hurt like HELL ... and even though my marriage was empty and lonely ... I got more lonely.


So why do I consider this the BEST day of my life?


It forced me out of my cocoon ... it forced me to spread my wings and fly ... it forced me to open my eyes and grow up. I became a woman ... and I learned I need to make myself happy, before I can make anybody else happy.


The path of pain is nobody’s favorite way to grow, but I see now, why it was needed..
Please share the worst and best days of your life .... I wonder, if you might come to the same conclusion.

Open your eyes and show me your soul

Open your eyes and show me your soul
　
My body responding
to your needs
waves of desire
almost drowning


Your voice
hoarse and demanding
"Open your eyes,
look at me!"


Drowning once more
in your eyes
filled with passion
but it’s your tenderness
that makes me cry


gea

Sexual tension at work ... bringing social pressure ... and a pretense of DISLIKING someone?

School age kids who LIKE each other, will torment each other, because it is JUST NOT COOL to like somebody with cooties. Because at that age, all your friends will tell you that the opposite sex has cooties! Right?


Their very young society tells them, that it is WRONG to like this little boy/girl, so let’s make sure all your classmates know you DON’T like them. (My son could never figure this out at school – he kept insisting all the girls hated him)


Do you realize we have this same thing going on in the workforce? Look around! I mean TAKE A CLOSE LOOK!


I personally did this after my divorce ... I worked with all guys and made sure they all knew I was a total bitch. The ones that tried to break through my barricade thought they found the ultimate ICE-QUEEN.


But it was only my protective shield, I was still licking my wounds, and it took a lot more to get through to me than a little flirting. For me it was self-preservation. I didn’t really hate all those guys! But there was sexual tension, so I had to do SOMETHING to protect myself.


If you are honest with yourself, you might admit, that you keep some co-workers at a safe distance .... you would love to get in her/his pants, but you are married. Most relationships would find this a huge taboo, like 98%? Yet the heat is there! And sexual tension!


So, again, back to those cooties, society tells us ---- stay away — don’t get burned! You might have to act like an ass, even though you REALLY like the person. You are probably having dreams and fantasies.


But society and your conscience tells you ... don’t be selfish, don’t hurt the one you love. Yet it is only natural that you would find some attractions outside the home. How you act on it, is up to you!


In the grand picture there is a lot of difference between LOVE and LUST, and this is something we need to establish before we act .... considering, that you DON’T want to hurt your mate.


There is only a small percentage of spouses, who would be okay with this (open marriage), but most people (even in the lifestyle) might first consult with their mate. Cheating is cheating!!


These are MY personal feelings ... we may agree to disagree ... feel free to share your feelings on this!

To spank ... or not to spank

We all know Dr Spock got his info mixed up and changed his mind AFTER everybody followed his advice. But it depends on whom you listen to and which generation you are a part of.


Parents are always asking me this question and lets face it, I have a daycare/preschool ... is it a trick question? Are they making sure I don’t beat their kids?

Yet, I have had a mother of two angry little boys give me permission to spank them.

Did I?


Never, never, never would I spank someone else’s child!!!


I am not against a spanking at home, just so it is not a common diet! And with angry children you MIGHT get the opposite result. When you teach a ‘hitter’ not to hit, spanking would NOT be the way to go! I suggest you COUNT and while counting get creative in HOW this child might need to be disciplined. Without force, preferably!
Distancing yourself from the child does wonders for calming down, for BOTH of you. So you can respond to the bad behavior instead of reacting to it. Your first impulse might be force and that is never a good idea. Do you think all those people on the news set out to kill their kids? Most of them are immature and lost control.


The mother of those two angry little boys recently thanked me. She thinks she might have been on the news if she had been a full-time mother. The anger-issues were a part of this family, so it was a good thing we raised those little guys together.
No way am I implying here, that I am a perfect mother, I have made my fair share of mistakes. But I sure tried!

To spank or NOT to spank

To spank or NOT to spank

No my sweet, lovely pervs ... I am not talking about the beautiful behind of your lady!

We all know Dr Spock got his info mixed up and changed his mind AFTER everybody followed his advice. But it depends on whom you listen to and which generation you are a part of.
Parents are always asking me this question and lets face it, I have a daycare/preschool ... is it a trick question? Are they making sure I don’t beat their kids?
Yet, I have had a mother of two angry little boys give me permission to spank them. Did I?
Never, never, never would I spank someone else’s child!!!
I am not against a spanking at home, just so it is not a common diet! And with angry children you MIGHT get the opposite result. When you teach a ‘hitter’ not to hit, spanking would NOT be the way to go! I suggest you COUNT and while counting get creative in HOW this child might need to be disciplined. Without force, preferably!
Distancing yourself from the child does wonders for calming down, for BOTH of you. So you can respond to the bad behavior instead of reacting to it. Your first impulse might be force and that is never a good idea. Do you think all those people on the news set out to kill their kids? Most of them are immature and lost control.
The mother of those two angry little boys recently thanked me. She thinks she might have been on the news if she had been a full-time mother. The anger-issues were a part of this family, so it was a good thing we raised those little guys together.
No way am I implying here, that I am a perfect mother, I have made my fair share of mistakes.
But I sure tried!

Waiting

                                                  Waiting
　
　
Embracing the white
empty field
with her eyes
she sits
waiting


Caressing the keyboard
crowded
with unmade words
she sits
waiting


The ashes of
her youth
are falling


she sits
waiting


Life is in code
the key
has been lost
she sits
waiting
　

　

Are you a people pleaser?

　
My sister was on the phone when she looked out of her window and saw her neighbor cutting flowers from a flowerpot by her front-porch. She had a hard time getting this blue Salvia to bloom, but now it really complimented the other colors in the pot. So she ran to her front-door and yelled at the woman. The woman, startled, apologized and went back home.


I have to tell you the story about this woman!


The lady’s parents lived in this house first and my sister was very close to the elderly couple. She was heart-broken when they passed away, one right after the other, after many years together.


So when their daughter moved into the house, my sister tried to maintain this friendship. She would bring the lady flowers from her yard, and told her to help herself to some blackberries. She later wished she had not invited her to help herself, because the woman appeared in her back-yard with several kids and containers and they not only cleared the vines of berries, they also damaged them.


My sister never said a word to the woman about this, but it did bother her.
Then, in the spring, the lady came in my sister’s yard and cut off most of her tulips. She was obviously overdoing the ‘welcome mat’ yet my sister still didn’t confront her. But it made her sad, because her yard lost it’s springtime splendor.


Another incidence happened in the Fall, when this lady asked my sister’s husband for some red beets from their garden ... my brother-in-law told her she could have some. When he told my sister about this she cringed and told him they might not have enough to can now. The neighbor solved that problem ... she took ALL the red beets. They saw her getting in her car with her purse and a Walmart bag filled with beets ... she was passing the loot around?


So when my sister saw this lady cutting her flowers OUT OF HER POT, she finally snapped.


But guess what?


The next day she went to the woman’s house with a beautiful, self-made floral-arrangement. She apologized for yelling at her and explained why those blue flowers meant so much to her.


My sister is a sweetheart and I hate it when people take advantage of her. When I told her she was ‘way too nice’ she said, "I know, I know, I am a people pleaser."
　
　
　

He won't stay in his bed!

One of the parents is getting tired of the lack of privacy. She told me her son will not sleep in his own bed. They have tried everything. Reward systems, anger, their locked bedroom door with a screaming child behind it.

I think we have all been there ... haven’t we?

Even when he still slept in his baby bed, our son would escape and crawl into bed with us. The sides were all the way up, and he would still get out. But he never cried, just quietly climbed out of his crib and into our bed.

Later, when he had a big-boy bed, he was still doing it. We didn’t even notice when he crawled in our bed at night and somehow he would always be between us. (I could never lock that door, except for a few hours of privacy)

One evening, after reading him a book and checking under the bed and behind the curtains for monsters, I requested once more, "Please stay in your own bed. You are a big boy now. Big boys don’t sleep with their mommy and daddy."

His answer, "But it is just not fair. You are both grown ups and YOU sleep together. I am just a little kid and I have to sleep all alone, with nobody to protect me."

Chick-Fil-A

On our road-trip to Duck, North Carolina, we followed the directions of our faithful navigator, the G.P.S. All went well, until we came to a more congested area, where several cities seemed to blend together amidst tunnels and bridges.

Our G.P.S got mixed up. Was it all that water? It kept sending us to loading decks of harbors and we got lost in a bad area. Since the gas-tank was empty and all three of us had to use to restroom, we had no choice but find the least offensive pit-stop.

Usually men don’t ask for direction, but our son flagged down a distinguished looking gentleman, who didn’t seem to belong in this part of town and asked the man directions.
When he came back to the car, he explained to us how to get out of the area, and he also requested to stop at a restaurant that the man had recommended.

It was called Chick Fil A.

We had been snacking on some fruit and nuts we brought from home, but we were getting hungry for some real food.

Just a few weeks ago, a vacation with the three of us had seemed like an impossible dream, yet here we were, on our way to the beach, leaving 102 degree temperatures.
It was like a miracle.
My husband had been unemployed for a long time now, and when his brother suggested we come and share a beach-house with him and his family, I didn’t think we could afford the trip. A wealthy member from his parish invited my brother-in-law and family to use their huge beach-home for a few weeks. It was located on an island, a small community, surrounded by water.

Yet when I looked at my work-calender I realized nobody would need me during one of those weeks. So I would not be losing any potential income.

Also, I had a ‘stash’ in my drawer. I had saved cash, gift-credit cards, and gift-certificates that I received from parents of the little ones. I was truly spoiled last Christmas!

We found the restaurant, a cute place, friendly service and the food was awesome and we left feeling much better. Back on the road again!

We were almost to a toll-booth when I yelled, "My purse!"

My husband slowed down and looked at me in disbelief, while I started summing up the contents of my purse. I was in tears and felt so stupid!

"I am so sorry," I kept saying it, till my son said, "Stop saying that, Mom, it will be okay!"

Our driver made a U-turn across the grassy media and turned around. He was driving fast, and I tried to stop crying.

My son and I ran in together, but the purse was no longer hanging on the chair. People were staring at us. Well, mostly at me, since I was crying.

Then one lady, sitting nearby the table we had just left, pointed to the cash register. "The waitress took your purse over there!"

My son did the talking, I was crying too hard.

Somebody started reaching in a cabinet behind the counter,  but another woman pushed her out of the way and threw a row of questions at me, "What color is your purse, what is your name, what is in your purse?"

"For cryin-out-loud, give her the damned purse.!" Someone said.

A server pushed my purse into my hands, her eyes filled with tears. I took the purse and hugged her as hard as I could. Soon, several girls joined in and we had a big group-hug of teary women. They all understood the devastation of losing a purse!